Divorce without pardons. Why quarantine is a good time to get ready for a wedding or divorce

Почему карантин — хорошее время, чтобы подготовиться к свадьбе или разводу

The coronavirus pandemic has become not only a test of strength for the global economy but also human relationships. Long-term self-isolation for people, who often see each other 10 minutes in the morning and 2 hours in the evening, has become a serious test for compatibility and the presence of mutual feelings. It is worth noting that during quarantine, citizens are admitted to the registry office exclusively on issues of state registration of birth, death, and the issuance of archival documents needed for confirmation during burial.

As an alternative, people have the opportunity, without visiting the relevant state institutions, to submit documents on marriage and divorce, and receive advice via the Internet using the “Appeal in the field of state registration of acts of civil status” web portal. Through the web portal, the departments of state registration of acts of civil status accept applications with a qualified electronic signature, the documents necessary for the appropriate procedure for marriage or divorce, as well as provide advice. Besides, the Ministry of Justice has successfully launched a pilot project “Marriage in a Day.” Turning to the organizers of this service, you can register a marriage without waiting for the expiration of a month.

Weather at home during self-isolation

In the first week of quarantine, most families were happy to spend time together when there was no need to run somewhere, you could watch a movie together, dine at the same table, and pay attention to the children. But the farther it goes, the more the lack of previous freedom of action affects people. Indeed, as practice shows, everyone needs personal space.

The regime of self-isolation took most by surprise, and some got taken hostages. Husbands and wives get to know each other again. Lovers turn into an endangered species, watching the reunion of families on Instagram. Couples who have not moved in together yet go on Zoom-dates and fall asleep with the gadget in their hands.

Worst of all feel those, who lived “like a cat and a dog” before the quarantine. When a family rests on one common living space, self-isolation can be a really dangerous undertaking. This is evidenced by world statistics on the largely increasing number of cases of domestic violence during the quarantine.

How to get ready for marriage during self-isolation?

You have been together for a long time, or have just recently moved in. Officially, you have not legitimized your relationship but love each other. In this case, quarantine can dot all over Is, and help you decide on the further plan of action. Before you apply to the registry office, it is worth discussing several very important points, so that it is not painfully late.

First, you both need to understand why you get married. The partners must have the same views on creating a family. If it’s just a tribute to traditions for one, and for the second it’s a way to improve his/her financial situation, then maybe you should not start? Therefore, it is important to tell each other frankly, what you expect from this step.

It may seem strange but small household trifles are very important. Before you run to the registry office, you need to know about each other quite a lot. And to know, you need to stop being shy and ask as many questions as possible. Tell each other about how you plan to manage finances while already married: it will be a common account or each on their own. Discuss how independent you would like to be when making business decisions.

A prenup is not an indicator of callousness and avarice, but prudence. By the way, the “most romantic” agreement can be made even before marriage. To draw up a document, you should contact a lawyer or a notary public. Well, yes, they provide their services to citizens of Ukraine even during the quarantine.

Another important point that needs to be decided before marriage is the surname. You can stay each with your own, take one in common, or acquire a new double surname. When deciding on this subject, do not forget that a change of surname entails a change in all documents, from the passport to the reissue of bank cards.

And now, you have already agreed on everything, happy and satisfied, ready to enter a new joint phase of your life. The only thing left is to turn to the web portal “Appeal in the field of state registration of acts of civil status”, put things in order, prepare the apartment for marriage, and wait for the appointed date!

How to get ready for divorce in isolation?

Unfortunately, while for some couples self-isolation is a case to convince themselves of the strength of feelings once again, for others it is an indicator that they are not created for each other. And this is not so bad. Not everyone is lucky to find their only life partner for the very first time. And in this case, quarantine works like a litmus test, revealing the problematic aspects of the relationship.

If you both understand that keeping a family is no longer meaningful, and divorce is the only prudent decision, then let it be so. Try to discuss peacefully how exactly your divorce will take place, and how you will communicate in the future.

There are two global scenarios: peaceful – when each of you manages to maintain respect for yourself, each other, and children by agreeing on key issues; and military – when negotiations are impossible or come to a standstill. The second scenario is longer, more painful, and much more expensive in all senses.

You can get a divorce in the registry office or court. The first option is possible when both agree to a divorce, there are no common minor children, and you do not argue about the property. In other cases, a court order is applied.

It’s impossible “not to get a divorce” in Ukraine – the resolution of the issue of divorce takes from 1 to 3 months if at least one of you insists that the preservation of the family is impossible. The process can take a long time when divorcing, the court also considers questions about children and the division of property.

If you are forced to live with the person you no longer love in the same living space, it is better to occupy different rooms so as not to provoke outbursts of aggression. It’s better, of course, to move out and start preparing documents for divorce.

The question of the property division may be a problem. If you have not specified who owes whom and what in advance, the common property, as a rule, will be divided in half. Often, one of the parties may hide many financial details from the other. Property abroad must be sought in advance, since its search can significantly delay the divorce process and worsen an already not very good relationship.

Of course, it is better to carry out the financial section together by mutual agreement. An alternative to a prenup is a property sharing agreement. In no case, you shall assume any obligations and do not refuse anything without qualified legal assistance.

The most unpleasant and painful of the disputes is the debate about children. To resolve the dispute, you need to come to a common denominator in three key agreements: with whom the children will live, about how to communicate with children and about alimony. If you cannot agree on children before the trial, the guardianship and trusteeship authorities, as well as your children who have reached the age of 10, will be involved in the process.

Keep yourself in control, and do not stoop to personal insults, especially in social networks. If it comes to court, your abusive or provocative post may not play in your favor. And to take dirty linen out of the house for all to see is not the best way to get a civilized divorce.